Tuesday, May 22, 2012


It's been almost a year since my last post.  Indescribable changes have occurred in my mind and heart and my life is soon to follow suit.  2011 was a year of upheaval.  Imbalance and disorder were sweeping all over the world in the weather, in governments and economies. They swept over my very own world like a drought.

Everything seemed to just be drying up. No job.  No car.  No apartment. And no return on a pretty hefty business investment. Worst of all, my relationship with my mother had become stale as week old bread.

2012, the year of authority, washed onto the scene bringing a newness of life, a new church family, a new perspective on abundance and most amazingly a new encounter with God as my beloved Father, or rather me as His beloved daughter. I've learned scads about love and acceptance and how utterly, shamefully crappy it is when you try to find them in people, places and things where they do not reside.

Thus, I'm still on my journey to the Promised Land. I thought, by now, I would have arrived. Unfortunately, unwittingly, I have settled for what's on the "this side of Jordan."  Why? Daddy issues? Nope.  Fear? Not really.  Mommy issues? Kinda, but not totally. Not dreaming big enough? Nah, I have big, BIG dreams.  The problem, as I recently discovered, is that I didn't believe they could or should be any more than dreams.  Here's a lesson on mountain climbing that I wish I had learned long ago.  

It doesn't matter how many tools you have, how good your gear may be, how many lessons you've taken or how many people want to climb the mountain with you if you don't believe that getting to the top is better than being at the bottom. 

I believe that my purpose for being here includes bringing healing to broken hearts and broken families, helping to build a global community that does not tolerate injustice and living in loving dominion over the physical earth and the gift of nature.  But I was ignorant of the fact that my two biggest jobs, my two primary prerogatives are these: To BELIEVE and to RECEIVE.  Nothing else - and I mean nothing - will be accomplished with any victory or glory if I do not first believe God's love for me is real and receive, in covenant exchange from Christ, all that He deserves.  All those big dreams I have, well, I heard a preacher say, "It's not your job to pay for it.  It's your job to believe for it."  (He's from Loosiana so he said it like "bleeve").

Jeremiah 17:7,8

I now have fresh understanding and revelation that spurs me on to get out of the wilderness once and for all: to trust in the Lord, my hope, to follow Him into my promised land, to plant myself firmly by the river and draw from it daily,  to grow, to bare fruit, to be evergreen.