This is it

It happened two nights ago.  After years of battling confusion, countless prayers mottled with tears, midnights marked by fear and lack of trust, I finally jumped off the hampster wheel and scrambled my way out of the cage.  I am fearless and free!

Crazy how change occurs in an instant.  In the instant a baby is born, the mother forgets the pain and discomfort she endured to get to that moment.  In the instant a boxer knocks out his opponent he no longer remembers the pain in his jaw or that he can't see out of his right eye.  There is always the build up, the pummeling, the pushing, the raw straining of sanity and strength.  Then comes the plateau, the point of exhaustion and disorientation when giving up seems like the only option. 

But, if you don't give up, if you remember why you got into the ring in the first place, if you concentrate on the life that is about to birth forth, then you realize there is no other option, but to "Get up! Stand up! Don't give up the fight" as Bob Marley encourages (FYI, I don't agree with any of the rest of the song).  "Now blows brave the elusive second wind" (Ha! That one's mine) and suddenly, like the strike of a bell, your victory rings out. Fear is defeated. It's a new day.  I'm not afraid anymore.  THIS IS IT!!!!

Start with what you have

I have been following a family in Pasadena, CA who has transformed their tiny city home into a micro farm, producing upwards of 6000 lbs. of food per year.  This is a version of the short film they made that has won several awards.  I posted just the trailer on facebook as they are selling the full length film (15:44) in order to help fund their work.  I found this shorter version of the film on the personal website of Jordanne Dervaes, daughter of the original Urban Homesteader, Jules Dervaes.

I can say so much about what kinds of changes my mind is beginning to embrace, but the real change is in the doing.  So starting with what I have, I am committing to grow 1% of my food for the remainder of 2011. That may seem like a small figure, but it's a huge undertaking. 

How much food do I really eat?   What will it take for me to grow it in the small backyard of my mom's rented town house?  What will I grow? How much will I have to adjust the way I eat?  Am I ready for all that?  Well, I'm giving myself a week to get it all figured out. 

Keep watching.

All Eyes on Me! (As if you didn't already know.)

Well, folks. According to two fake Myers-Briggs tests that I took online, I am an ESFP.  That is Extroverted-Sensing-Feeling-Perceiving.  A third test said I am ESTJ - Thinking Judging. The weird thing about it is, I only scored like 1% in the extroverted area on one test and close to 80% on the other.  My scores on the third test were all in the middle and pretty close, but still led with Extroverted and Sensing. 

Doing my own eval of myself I realize that as much as I like to be around people, I excel in work on my own and like to "recharge my batteries" in serene, solitary settings. I am also a great starter, but not such a great finisher.  I have no clue what the Sensing thing is all about, but I do agree with the Perceiver part. Apparently all these elements mean I would be an excellent stage/screen performer, dressmaker/designer, photographer or wait for it...receptionist.  Tee hee!:}

I took these tests for two reasons.  First to see if I was really just a very sociable introvert.  Since a lot of my tendencies are introverted, and so many of the things I do require me to be  alone or in my own head. But it seems I am either a really good liar or completely balanced or these online tests suck. 

Secondly, I am going to be making some major life choices soon and wanted to see if I was cut out for the path I am considering taking. Curious as to what that path is?
Well, you'll just have to wait and see. But you can bet your buns whatever it is will lead to

ULTIMATE WORLD DOMINATION! MUA! HA! HA HA! HA! But I will leave you with this tidbit.  Some famous ESFP's include Bill Cosby, Oprah Winfrey, Elvis, Elizabeth Taylor, Serena Williams, Marilyn Monroe and of course, the stellar President Bill Clinton.

Stacey's Top Ten January Favorites

10. Sophisticated. Chic. Jetset. Luxury.   I may be a lowly Michael Kors outlet sales associate, but when the scent of tuberose, tamarind and musk hit my olfactory nerves I am instantly sailing my yacht off the shores of Dubrovnik or hiking in the Italian Alps.

9.  Fashion magazines and artist markers, set of 100.  Childhood creativity and confidence at its best on a sheet of white posterboard.

8. An hour visiting Grammy. These can be trying times, but I know I would regret missing out on them.


7.  Seven year old boys in p.j's. "Stacey, can I have another cookie?" "Stacey, can you turn it to Spongebob?"




6.  Trivial Pursuit, Tri-Ominoes and Five Card Stud with the fam.  I love 'em.  What can I say?

5.  Arabian Nights before bed.  One day I will regale my children with the elaborate tales of Scheherazad. ( I'll just leave out a few of the nasty bits.)

4.  Doing the Cupid Shuffle at D's wedding.  Every time I do it I wonder why I don't do it more often.

3.  The Riley Boyfriend Watch by Fossil. How well does it tell time? I don't know. I keep getting distracted.

2.  Breakfast, brunch and dessert with AA. She knows the deal (and makes me keep up my end of it).

1.  Discovering the English Cut.